So this is for my pals and colleagues who often have this dilemma on whether to ask someone out or not and if they do then how many times and whether or not it will be considered as workplace harassment. I have always told this to my pals and now I just want to write it down so that they can come and read it if they forget because I am kind of tired of telling about this to them again and again, especially when I have to repeat it to the same lot of friends.
Rule of 3
Attempt to introduce yourself not more than 3 times. If it fails then forget it and move on
If you have tried 3 times to talk to or introduce yourself but failed or they have not responded then be matured enough to know that they have
- more important and special people in their life than you
- more important and special things to do in their life than you
- people have different tastes, some like pizza, some like dosa, some like veggies. Can't blame them for their taste. you do not suit their taste in people.
Ask them out for a coffee/lunch/brunch/meal/movie/shopping or whatever but never more than 3 times. If within these 3 times if they don't say yes then move on.
If you are asking a person out for any kind of socializing then you are doing one, most or all of the following.
- (workplace) harassment
- Disrespecting the other person by disrespecting their decision.
- Demeaning the other person because you are subconsciously telling them
- that you are/were wrong
- you do not know how to judge/validate people
- I do not care about your opinion or decision about me, my feelings and need and wants are greater than your opinion or decision
- Insult their intelligence by subconsciously telling them that they are
- not intelligent enough to know what they want
- not intelligent enough to decide what or who is good for them
Go out with them not more than 3 times if none of the 3 leads to courtship.
- you have invested the most precious thing a human has. TIME. if you have invested 3 days in a person and if that did not lead to courtship then trying to entertain someone even after 3 failed dates means one, many or all of the following.
- you wasted their time, 3 times.
- If you value time of you and them then you would not go for 4th
- you do not value your own time and thus how can you value someone else's time?
- You do not have any goals in life or there is anything better you can do with your time than going out entertaining people in order to achieve courtship and nobody respects a person who doesn't have any goals in life or better things to do in life than achieving courtship.
- you do not have any self respect or ego. How can someone else respect you if you do not respect yourself? How can someone else value your time if you do not value your own time?
I always consciously try to treat people the way I want to be treated by them. I think everyone should.
you might think that I must have gotten my calendar full then? LOL LOL. I would have had a better chance in dating if I was gay than me being straight because there are more guys like me who are
vegetarian
non smokers
non alcoholic
but there are no girls who even consider the possibility of such a guy being worthy of hanging out; to top it all my interest in music (mostly western/trance/japanese/edm/psychedelic/rap/hiphop/r&b....), games, movies(mostly english, japanese, thai, chinese, french....) makes me odder among-st odds. Most importantly I got no car, sportbike or a nice apartment of my own which a lot of guys much younger than me have. So, respect yourself, respect others and their choices. Your life is worth more than one person, including yourself.
Let us say you are trying to get a place for rent, may be an apartment or even buy one. you ask the owner and they are not ready. You try to get them interested few times and that is okay but for every new attempt you make for the same place, you are losing out on the probability and possibility of a better place than the one that you are trying. In the end by the time you decide to try out other places you might have lost them too since you were too busy trying for just one. When I have time I will even give you a simple mathematical indisputable formula, till then try to enjoy these lines.
some fruits look good and taste good,
some fruits look bad and taste bad...
you might think that I must have gotten my calendar full then? LOL LOL. I would have had a better chance in dating if I was gay than me being straight because there are more guys like me who are
vegetarian
non smokers
non alcoholic
but there are no girls who even consider the possibility of such a guy being worthy of hanging out; to top it all my interest in music (mostly western/trance/japanese/edm/psychedelic/rap/hiphop/r&b....), games, movies(mostly english, japanese, thai, chinese, french....) makes me odder among-st odds. Most importantly I got no car, sportbike or a nice apartment of my own which a lot of guys much younger than me have. So, respect yourself, respect others and their choices. Your life is worth more than one person, including yourself.
Let us say you are trying to get a place for rent, may be an apartment or even buy one. you ask the owner and they are not ready. You try to get them interested few times and that is okay but for every new attempt you make for the same place, you are losing out on the probability and possibility of a better place than the one that you are trying. In the end by the time you decide to try out other places you might have lost them too since you were too busy trying for just one. When I have time I will even give you a simple mathematical indisputable formula, till then try to enjoy these lines.
some fruits look good and taste bad,
some fruits look bad and taste good,some fruits look good and taste good,
some fruits look bad and taste bad...
harass no fruit by trying more than thrice
coz there r aplenty of trees & aplenty of fruits...
Run this code in your python code...just for fun. You will see that higher your number of dates with the same person, lower your chances are to find a partner in the long run. Numbers and math....they never lie.
Run this code in your python code...just for fun. You will see that higher your number of dates with the same person, lower your chances are to find a partner in the long run. Numbers and math....they never lie.
try: ActiveYears = int(input("Total number of years where you will be dating?")) MaxDatePerperson = int(input("maximum number of dates that you will go with the same person before you move on to someone else?")) except ValueError: print("Not an integer value...") chances = (ActiveYears * 12 * 4) / MaxDatePerperson print('your chances of finding a partner are never more than {}'.format(chances))